I am a woman with curly hair.
For most of my life, I have tried to control it by forcing it straight. But during the COVID19 pandemic, I just gave up trying! I made the decision early on to just let my natural curl have its way on my head. The consequences, the comments, and the lessons resulting from that decision have been eye-opening! When I go out with my "new" curly hair, I get so many questions and compliments about how I manage to get my hair looking so good that I have no choice but to take a hard look at some of the beliefs I have been holding on to for so long.
These insights, for me, apply not only to my personal life but also to my work world. Let me share some of my insights with you.
My hair taught me:
1 There are many things I can't control. I thought I could control my hair but have found during the last four months that it is a frustrating, futile exercise. When I stopped trying, I realized just how much effort I had been putting into trying to control something that doesn't want to be controlled.
I considered not only how I try to control my hair (to stop it from curling) but also many other things in my life.
I don't need all the things I thought I needed. Until the pandemic kept me home for all these months (with no alternative), I realized that I don't need my hairdresser as much as I thought I did. In the past, every 4 to 5 weeks seemed like a sound choice. Now, almost four months later, I am managing my hair quite well. It's not that I think I don't need her at all, it's just that I don't need to be at the hairdresser so much.
My hair also taught me what is important.
I miss and need connections. With my family, friends, peers, social interactions, and meeting new people is also essential.
Attention to my self is a necessity. - taking time for things and people I enjoy is something I can not and should not put off till tomorrow. For some in my family, there is no more tomorrows.
There are many ways to connect. Today there are many ways to connect but I think that the pandemic has taught me that in-person is my favorite. No longer will I take for granted the visits, the parties, the hugs, the weddings, and many other gatherings that will allow me to see and hug those I love.
I need to learn new skills - all the time! The speed at which the world shifted to lockdown with no contact with family and friends as well as the "work at home" directives, I have a new-found appreciation for being able to pivot and learn a new way adjusting to the "new norm" quickly. My hair taught me that there is more than one way for it to show up on my head.
Looking different, any number of ways is OK! And that brings me to my final (for now) insight that my hair taught me. If you are a curly-headed individual (or know one), you know that every day your hair presents you with a slightly different look - one that defies control!
Getting comfortable with "what is" rather than "what I want" has been the hardest and best lesson of all!
About Trignano Consulting, LLC:
Linda Trignano is focused on helping individuals and teams improve their communication style both personally and professionally. A coach & consultant with over many years of experience in a corporate environment, Trignano offers support in job search as well as corporate training and facilitation. Trignano’s firm is focused on helping companies more effectively handle their people related needs by working collaboratively with clients to find solutions that work for everyone. She is able to quickly and cost effectively implement change that improves productivity. You can reach us at www.trignanoconsulting.com or by calling 551-800-1127.